Toilet Birthdays

As someone who loves nothing better than an excuse to throw a party, thank you for giving us one more occasion to celebrate.

This is one of the toilets in my parents' house on Long Island. The other one does not appear to have a birthday. Sad.

There's nothing really spectacular about this toilet. It does it's job and does it well. It resides in an apartment in the San Francisco Bay Area.

This American Standard lovely has little to tell. So far. Installed only a few months after her birth, she's barely reached her adolescence (for certainly one toilet year is worth more than one human year). She's happy we decided to do the black tile border on the floor, as she's a new toilet with an old soul and she just adores retro styling.

Still in its salad days, this toilet's superior functionality is undermined by my apartment complex's inferior water pressure.

This is my new low-flow toilet. This toilet replaces the original Green Monster. The cloth on the back of the toilet is a weaving sample done by my friend Denny. It uses shockingly little water, and yet still manages to flush properly.

This toilet is located in an Upper West Side apartment that has been converted into a production office. It is my work toilet. I just did the math and I spend more time with this toilet than my toilet at home. I imagine if you asked my home toilet, and it had the ability to feel and speak, it would say it is jealous.

This is the toilet in the basement apartment where I currently am living. My dad put it here back in 1990 or so.

This is /not/ an exciting story... but the toilet does what it's supposed to do, so I guess it's all good.

Despite the pen markings, I believe this toilet was born the year I graduated from high school, 1984.

This toilet came with the house that we bought in 2005 in Tunbridge, Vermont, USA from the builder of the house. The house was completed in 1992.

We plan to replace this toilet and the other in the house to a more water frugal device in the near future.

The landlords in NYC always say the toilet has been replaced. They just never say when.